Hi Ngoc Tran :)

Sorry to hear about your friend's situation.
Sounds like you have tried doing everything you are able to do to help her.
Unfortunately she has refused all your suggestions.
A good book for you to read to get some insights into the hoarding condition is
"Digging Out".
We need to accept the fact that we can not help when they refuse to accept help.
Perhaps write a letter or email letting her know how Dear she is to you and that you still love her and care deeply about her welfare.
All you can really do at this point is to let her know you are there for her emotionally as her long time friend and leave it at that.
Hopefully she will get the help she needs through services near her home.

Sincerely, Tillie

I've known my friend, "Lisa," since high school. She is now in her mid-50s, single, living alone in a rented apartment in a residential hotel in a large city on the west coast. She's been there for more than 30 years, and is on SSDI. She has a variety of health issues, including depression, heart problems and chronic fatigue syndrome. During the past nine months, she's sent me e-mails about how the city's Department of Health has inspected her apartment and is making her clean it. She's had numerous inspections, and has complained repeatedly about how the inspector is pushing her to get the work completed, although she isn't physically capable. I tried to get some idea of the task, but was rebuffed. I offered to come with my family to clean, or have some of my friends and family in her city assist her. She again refused. She copied me on letters to her health care worker, pleading for help from the worker. The worker eventually closed the case, apparently after the city performed a deep cleaning on the site. I finally learned, via a call to the city's health department, that her apartment is uninhabitable due to mice, roaches and debris, despite the cleaning. The inspector was trying to get her to move debris enough to create a path from the door to her window. The inspector is due to look at her apartment again later this month. Lisa told me she was waiting for the "right time" to call me for help. Since rents in her city are sky-high, I would not be able to help her find another place. She's currently in a rent-controlled apartment. I also live 3,000 miles away, and am not willing to have her live with me, even if she consented. She told me she'd never asked for my help, although she's cc'd me on all of her e-mails to city officials. She cut off contact with her family long ago over a history of child abuse, and now only hears about once a year from a cousin. I seem to be the only friend she has. Her landlord seems to be useless, and she does nothing but complain about him. Every suggestion I've made is met with a reason why it can't be done. I am truly afraid that she will soon be evicted. Any ideas on what I can do? She's very angry with me right now for contacting the city DPH, and isn't talking to me. I am wondering if I should just walk away. I am at a loss as to how to proceed, or even if I should. I'd appreciate any insights. Thanks for reading.