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Hoarding Help Message Boards : Welcome to the new board! : DAUGHTERS HOARDING
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Dianne
Posted: 13 April 2013 - 07:36 AM
Hi Eileen,

Clearly you love your daughter very much and have tried everything to help her. I agree with Tillie. You may have to try *tough love*.

At some point you will have nothing left to give financially.

Try to stop paying for the things that get her in the most trouble like her credit cards. If they are paid she'll continue to charge more. If she can't pay them then she can't get more credit.

If she pays the minimum credit charge and then has no money for food then she sees that the credit charges are taking away from what she really needs in life.

She has hard choices to make and until she feels the consequences enough she won't help herself.

Let us know how you are doing.
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Tillie
Posted: 13 April 2013 - 12:22 AM
Hello Eileen :)

Sorry to hear about this and sorry that I do not have any answers for you.
What would happen if you practiced "Tough Love"?
Stopped paying her bills and letting her sink or swim on her own.
(((hugs))), Tillie :)
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EILEEN
Posted: 11 April 2013 - 10:18 PM
[nai AM REALLY UPSET TONIHT, I TRY TO HELP MMY DAUGHTER WITH HER BILLS AS SHE HAS ONLY DISABILITY INCOME. I TOOK OVER HER BILLS AFTER A FIRE PUT HER INTO A BAD DEPRESSION AND SHE LOST A LOT OF PERSONAL ITEMS. THANK GOD SHE AND HER ANIMALS WERE OK. ANY WAY I HELPED HER GET A PLACE TO STAY WHILE THE HOME WAS REPAIRED AND PAID FOR IT. I ALSO PAID FOR STORAGE OF HER BELONGINGS. THEN I TRIED TO PAY DOWN HER CREDIT CARD BILLS. NOW SHE IS NOT AS DEPRESSED, BUT SHE HAS BEEN ORDERING THINGS ONLINE SHE THINKS SHE CAN RESELL AND MAKE MONEY ON, WHICH SHE IS CHARGING..SHE CANT PAY FOR IT ALL. SHE HS MAXED OUT 4 CREDIT CARDS. THE MINIMUM PAYMENTS ARE TOO HIGH AND USES UP ALL HER MONEY. THEN I FEAL SORRY AND GIVE HER MONEY FROM MY FUNDS FOR FOOD, GAS, AND A PERSON TO HELP HER GET ORGANIZED, WHICH SEEMS LIKE A ENDLESS PROBLEM. SHE HAAS HAD A THEREPIST FOR OVER A YEAR AND IS ON DEPRESSENMENT MEDS BUT THINGS DONT SEEM TO BE GETTING BETTER. I HAVE SPENT A SAVINGS ACCOUNT THAT TOOK ME 20 YEARS TO SAVE AND NOW IT IS GONE WITH ALL THESE PROBLEMS....WHERE TO NOW?? HUBBY IS JUST KEEPING OUR HOME TOGETHER WITH THE RISING COSTS OF EVERYTHING SO JUST DONT KNOW...ANY IDEAS...SORRY THIS IS SO LONG i COLD WRITE A BOOK ABOUT HER....HAVE 2 OTHER CHILDREN AND HER DAUGHTER WHO ARE FED UP TOO.
me=Tahoma]
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