This thread is so very long, I am going to start a new one.
Where I spell my name correctly.

I am happy for CM's new computer and how well it works - but maybe such a long thread intimidates people?

Ah!

The houseguests are people in transition, not friends or family who are visiting.

In that case you are allowed to continue with your regular life. Be considerate, but good enough is good enough. People cannot expect their host to be at their most gracious and accommodating 24/7 for weeks when they are receiving help.

I have six paper bags of recycling to drop off on Tuesday when I go back to work. I told Dd2 it is astonishing how much recycling eight people can make in a few days. She laughed at me.

Apparently I should be comparing myself to my neighbors with the multiple overflowing large sized wheeled cans and extra bags piled at the ends of their driveways post Christmas. That just makes me sad. So much waste and destruction. And in many cases so much debt racked up - for what?

We had a beautiful Christmas. Bean got a few new toys, but also some nice used ones, and even some of the new things were minimally packaged.

People got books and clothing items that were shipped in cardboard, paper, and easy to recycle plastic. Many gifts were made or bought directly from the artisans. Ddil bought beautiful leather gift tags for $3 each and announced "if you don't give me back your tag, you will never get another present." The handmade cloth bags I have been using instead of wrapping paper for 30 years were folded and dropped back in their bin.

We made two plastic grocery bags of garbage. Mostly diapers.

Today has been nicer weather than expected. I have cleared out half the space for the chicks, but mostly by moving things. I have also vacuumed and done laundry and done dishes. Dd2 came out of her room for a cup of tea, and I asked "does it look *any* better in here?" She said "it looks great. Don't let anybody tell you that you don't clean."

So very far still to get to where I want to be..

omg Road! I am so sorry you are sick! I hope they can figure out how to help you. Prayers for recovery.

SubC, 2023 could definitely be the Year of the Beans. I just found out Tot and Acorn's mama (dil) is expecting!! omg shock. It is very early but I am so excited and praying. Acorn is only a half year old so wow. My goal will be to be healthy enough and less tired enough to help more, take the 2 kids often and let her rest. Acorn is gonna have to get used to being with Grandma a lot! She is pretty calm and will be fine but I have not taken her a lot like I have Tot. I hope both you and I get the joy of a newbean this year.

Hi Tatoulia! I do have a large house. I got lucky and bought it decades ago at a cheap price in a nice neighborhood. Worth much more now. My house is totally full of stuff. If I can get things sorted, donated, sold, and moved out (ex's stuff) and get the company gone, I will have a huge amount of space. I consider moving into a smaller home. But right now it is packed full. And the guests brought so much stuff and so many boxes I literally now have a hoarder-looking-house. Boxes lining every wall. Boxes filling the family room. I had to move about a dozen boxes just to get to my exercise equipment. It is a little frustrating since I thought when ex left I would have space. But... it will happen. I am trying to just be patient and understand this is helping them get into a safe place.

And my cousin is coming to stay this weekend. I am moving people around so he has a sleeping space but it is going to be hard to make room!

CM, I miss that you joined the senior center. How often do you go there? I am in my 50s and one of my projects at work is to develop a program for seniors. I will be starting it in a month or so, and all I've got in mind so far is food, puzzles, and music. I would love to hear some other ideas from you about what would make a fun gathering. We will probably do it twice a month.

The company is going to be at least another month. I enjoy the people, but it is hard not having my space. They are out this morning so I am doing a little purging and cleaning. Is it weird that I do not like anyone watching me clean? I tried to put some boxes out for trash day but they brought them in to keep for their own use. Which is good, they can use them. But my ex used to not let me throw things away so I have a complex about it.

I did that everything out of the fridge when they left, wiped it down, consolidated where there were 2 containers of the same thing open (sour cream, ketchup, salsa) and tossed some expired and old stuff. Reorganized and now it still looks totally stuffed full, but it is not as crammed together. I ate the last of the spinach and the last of some sauce, on toast with an egg. I found some old looking oranges and squeezed them all so I had a nice glass of juice with my breakfast.

I am drinking my coffee now. Trying to get some energy to do more. I did take a full grocery bag of trash out from what I sorted out of the fridge.

What are you all doing today?

Ug! That is awful!

I am hoping you get an effective treatment plan and a quick recovery!

It is quiet here this morning.

Dd2 is sick. Hopefully just a bad cold that she picked up in the airport - stuffy and her head aches. Ds and ddil headed home after breakfast. Ds kindly took with him a box of recycling that can be recycled where he lives but not here. He also took two cast iron pans that dd2 left here when she moved to Colorado.

Ds and ddil are talking about having a baby. Dd1 wants to try again as soon as she can. I could have TWO tiny beans in 2023!

I turned in my class proposals for next year. Now I wait and see, but two full days is my absolute max.

I don't know if you've seen the thing where you are supposed to choose a word that summarizes your intentions for the next year? I think it's a little contrived because people are like "my words is ?health' and I'm going to eat better and get exercise and work on my relationships" and then other people are like "my word is ?accountability' and I am going to eat better and exercise and work on my relationships." But anyway, I'm part of a discussion group that is doing that, and I decided my word is "space". Space in my schedule, space in my environment, space in my brain, space to let good things into my life...

Anyway, today I'm vacuuming (the grad dogs shed a lot) and doing laundry and dishes, and general clean up and reset.

My chicks are coming in about three weeks, so I also need to make SPACE for them in the barn.

Road, oh no! I'm glad you are in the hospital where they can take care of you! I hope your son isn't too worried! Take care, my dear.

Hi guys, just checking in to update you in my health sit. Really bad attack today that just would not go away- threw up 10+ times and finally called an ambulance. They are saying Pancreatitis (at least) and admitted me for 3+ days. So finally got part of an answer which is a huge relief. Still very uncomf even on a lot of pain killer but hopefully better in next day or two. Hugs all around. Wish me luck.

Good evening!

Nice to hear from so many of you!

Lila, you are in my thoughts.

Bean's parents decided he had had enough excitement and they would take him home to sleep in his own bed tonight (ds and ddil are leaving in the morning) unfortunately he threw up halfway home. Fortunately close to the home of a good friend who loaned them a bathtub for Bean and a way to wash the car seat out. They just got home.

He was quite delightful when he was here - aside from only sleeping 6 hours last night and the crying that preceded it.

Really, we had a great visit.

Tatoulia, I also am glad about your sister, and I'm glad that Road and CM are feeling better.

My farm sitter is very expensive, but also completely worth it. I could leave her with no feed, the power out, a goat that just came home from an emergency-section, a sick cat and a raccoon making raids on the barn and not worry at all. I'd come home to stocked feed bins, healthy animals, and a dead raccoon.

More on my plans for the new year later- it's bed time.

Wow, everybody's been having a lot to share these last few days. I'm doing my thing where I open the reply window in another browser tab so I can flip back and forth and try to remember everything I want to comment on. I'll probably still miss a few...

Past Covid time here pretty much, sorry for those of you who have had to deal with it, and SubC, that's good you dodged it. My sense of smell was only gone for about 3 days - it was like "Olfactory.exe stopped working" - just nothing at all, but then it came back a wee bit, then a wee bit more, then pretty much all back as far as I can tell. And no weird taste or anything, thank God - as a picky eater I don't need anything else to make me struggle in that area!

That's great about your sister, Tatoulia - I hope it is a sign of more good things to come.

Road, pet care is one of the difficult challenges in my life as well. It plays into my agoraphobia and not wanting to take any road trips, if I don't feel confident the rabbits will be looked after - well, and roommate's cats and dog too, and my frog, but the rabbits are the ones of the bunch that require someone who KNOWS rabbits in case they come down with that gastrointestinal stasis that can be fatal if not immediately and competently treated.

I don't even feel comfortable going out of town with my roommate for a day - the morbid fear that if something happened to us (and it wouldn't necessarily have to be fatal, but if we were even delayed). I do call it my "designated survivor" mentality though... Anyhow, during the Covid pandemic of course it has been much harder to arrange pet sitting, and one friend of mine who used to be available has had a health decline, and another person from the rabbit club has a lot of family stresses and is not really available. There isn't really money to hire a professional.

So, for now, I don't travel much unless it's just me going with my cousin to a family event, which is usually a funeral. I have one uncle in his upper 90s on that side of the family; so far I guess he's hanging in there okay... This past year was a bad agoraphobia year anyway, because I was on stress overload. I hope it improves. I think it can.

Feeling either optimistic or less pessimistic, or something. Leaving 2022 behind has some symbolic closure significance that seems to give me energy and hope. Poco a poco! I'm starting to think of my stuff challenge as something more doable. I'd felt stymied for a long time. The things that have been heavy and hard on my soul the latter part of this year, I guess it has made me feel more like doing something about the clutter is necessary as a way of regaining some sense that I can still improve my life and go forward.

So what that translates to in practical terms is, I've started to let little ideas float into my mind. Things around here, or things in the storage unit, start with the easy stuff, look at things with a more scrutinizing approach. For example, books and games/puzzles are something that's in my storage unit. I have downsized those before, and now I am focusing in and thinking of some more that I now feel ready to let go of.

And since I joined the senior center, guess what - I believe there are some of them that I might ask them if I could donate to a communal game room, or their library in the case of the books. That way, I could still have access to the games, plus others would get to enjoy them too, plus I might find some people to play with. Board games are a lot more fun when you play them instead of store them, imagine that!

The books, at first would be ones I really do feel done with, but there are enough of those that I could make a dent. Then deal with the ones I may be more reluctant about initially - but maybe even those I'll thin out. As I've said, electronic sources are really coming to the rescue for me with a lot of the books. Except my obscure books that may be harder to find ever again - scanning is definitely an option on the table with that super efficient scanner, but we'll see.

So yesterday I actually did go over there and pull out several puzzles and several books. Spilled a few pieces out of one puzzle box, so my OCD said let's work that one right away, and see if we got 'em all. I worked it last night. It was fun, really. There was one piece missing, haha. I've had those puzzles so long, and they came from thrift stores anyway, so it may very well have already been missing. I wrote on the back of the box which one it was. It's a funny thing, that. Some people won't mind at all working the puzzle anyway, and I have to admit it was enjoyable despite the imperfection. Yet if I'm honest, it would've been more satisfying if all pieces were there. I just have to laugh at this quirk of mine... Anyway, the puzzle will no longer be my problem very soon! 😂

Some items I will go through as I do more at the storage unit (I actually find I'm looking forward to going there, something I haven't for a long time). I need to email the corporate HQ, I guess, because the faulty guttering that I've been nagging them about for quite some time, that dumps a bunch of water/ice on the concrete pad right in front of my unit, has gotten worse. Water/snow has gotten inside my unit itself, and I remember one time in the last few years when the ice was 2" thick and covered a large area. I was dumping melt granules on it and whacking at it with a hammer. That is dangerous and unacceptable, and if I have to be a Karen about it, I will. But I'll start out nice.

I will prepare to sell what I gather up, when the senior center has that spring bazaar, or possibly my cousin, I'm trying to talk her into a garage sale at her house. I'm meaning good stuff such as rubber stamps and other crafting stuff, that I do think people will be interested in. And the leftovers I can set aside for the church rummage sale in the early summer. That should all add up to quite a bit of stuff gone.

Yesterday's puzzles and books amounted to about one cubic foot. I like to add up the cubic feet, it is an easy way to wrap my mind around it and feel like I accomplished something.

Which leads me to one other topic that's been on my mind, and that is Goals. As I've mentioned, I am weird about concretizing goals; sometimes doing so puts me in some weird pressure headspace, so I tend not to do challenge goals and that sort of thing. However, that doesn't mean I couldn't have a more vague cubic feet per week goal, or metric, or something, if that feels like it would spur me on.

Another goal that some here and other places I go online have done is the No-buy thing. Because some of the big upsetting things that happened in late 2022 that I don't want to dwell on but okay I'll say just this much, did involve financial matters. Given that, No-buy has been a thing I am drawn to. How strict one wishes to be with it, of course, is up to the individual. If completely cold turkey is too scary, well, then modify it a bit, or at least don't overthink it, but still do it.

The good thing, for the most part, is that I'm pretty well stocked on things like groceries and toiletries, stationery, and the like. And feeling more in the mode of wanting to downsize rather than acquire the more, shall we say, "optional" or fun things. Stores have become pretty boring to me, which is good. I want to avoid being too much in places where Covid is being passed around, another motivator for not just whiling away hours in stores. Time, too, is more precious than ever, and I have the means to do good things with my time, what with this new computer and all.

So what it probably looks like is just not buying impulse items, which is easy enough. Clothing and shoes I already had some ideas about, e.g., have more items go away than come in (and work on fitness and weight so that any necessary clothing shopping is fun rather than depressing). Replace grungy items with comfy and happy to wear items.

So, I have lots of ideas and I think that's going to be a good thing, I think I'll just do a little bit and a little bit more, and get a momentum going. I remember way back when I first came to this message board, I was FED UP and I was going to become a MINIMALIST DAMMIT no matter what - I was passionate! 🔥 On fire!

A lot has happened since then. I'm not sure about the minimalist goal (I still want it, but the path has certainly been a winding one and I feel a little lost right now - but I don't want to fret about it). I floundered badly during the pandemic and 2022, and got pretty devoid of ideas. Now I'm starting to have a few ideas. It is enough. Poco a poco. Vamos a llegar.

Subc, sorry to hear about your daughter. I'm glad you all were able to spend some time together. Your gifts sound awesome! We really don't exchange gifts anymore. It's not like we need anything and if I want something I generally buy it - but I do miss the thoughtfulness of it. It's really nice that you do that.

Tatoulia, interesting development on your sister. Surprising but in a good way right? You take such good care of your kitty friend.

I am feeling much better now. I think (hope) the hernia has settled down a little now that I'm not coughing so much. I got an antibiotic and that helped as well. Now my son seems a little sicker but hopefully today is better. I promised to take him to puss n boots again and if he's not coughing too much I will invite a friend of his and her mom to come with us.

House wise things are ok. The H just moved my too big chair down to the basement. This solves one issue with my room. I've been shopping for a replacement chair... trying to find a comfy chair that has a very small footprint is challenging. Also have to decide on the bed. I will either keep this queen and buy a frame or I will return it and get a twin maybe with a trundle. Christmas decor is ok for now. Will keep it up til next week probably. Still hoping to have the family over Saturday for our get together. We all went out to where my sister lives at her invitation for breakfast Yesterday morning and then she didn't show. My Ps and parents leave for my aunts funeral in St. Louis on Sunday. We intended to go but since we were not getting along and I have been so sick decided not to after all and then we can watch my brothers dogs so he can go. I am super annoyed that we continue to have this attitude that someone has to stay behind for the pets when any normal functioning adult would accept the fact that if you have pets you sometimes need to hire pet sitters. Or never leave your house again. I had a whole convo with my bro over the summer about how let's change our mind set about this otherwise. We will never be able to go on vacay together or go to a family funeral again. And here we are. But honestly as it turns out I think it's best I am staying home. Would hate to get stuck on the road in misery dealing with that hernia.

So hope to have an outing day today but may try to get a load of laundry done or pick up some stuff in my room...

Your gifts sound lovely, SubC!

Road, I am so sorry you are sick! Lila, you are amazing to have house guests that long! You must have a fairly big house to accommodate guests! Cm, I am grateful that you and your roommate went to church.

Visiting cat went home tonight.

It is way past my bedtime here. I took my recycling out earlier today and tomorrow is trash night. I did one load of cat blankets tonight. My kitty is in the living room now. She was relegated to the bedroom during the visit. My bedroom is very cold so I would get up very few hours to put her heating pad back on, as it turns off automatically after two hours.

I'm ready for bed. Trash night was Monday night so all of the trappings of Christmas were put out. Bf liked both of his gifts and I like both of mine. He spent a lot of money on me, which I hadn't expected due to the fact he doesn't have a lot of income right now.

Mom is hanging in there and my sister has stood up to the plate to help me. I am grateful to her. It's nice to see her and mom form a relationship. They really haven't had one in decades.

We opened all the presents today.

I got a beautiful wooden scoop dsil carved from a piece of wood from a fallen tree in our yard, cozy mittens, a new knife, two lovely pairs of earrings and some photo and art magnets from Bean. Also a cute framed Bean picture to go on the piano with the three of my kids.

Good.well, but the time I hit list it will probably be afternoon.

No kids here yet today, but the last of the Christmas gifts finally arrived, so we are ready for tomorrow morning.

Dh plowed and we are about to make a quick food/stocking goodie run.

I slept ten hours and feel a little better. I keep remembering what a friend told me years ago when my grandfather died - grief is heavy. Even when you don't know you are carrying it. You can think you put it down and it will climb back up.

Bedrooms are ready. I cleaned the scullery counter off a little bit. I started some laundry. It thawed out enough to open the barn door to the pasture so the does could go out today. I remembered to order chicks before all the breeds I wanted were sold out until July. I remembered to get the coupon code from the website I joined. (So I saved $13) I am doing ok.

I loaded and started the dishwasher - which got me almost caught up on dishes.

I spent an hour in the basement.

Results:
A small handful of trash
Two plastic bags to recycle
Maybe a paper grocery bag worth of fabric to donate? It's currently in a plastic garbage bag that is nowhere near full.

A few bits and pieces sorted and grouped

One very discouraged subc.

Hi road and Lila!

Good to see you back!

We dodged the Covid.

Road, I'm sorry about the struggle with your Dh. Hopefully you are past it now. Good job getting the presents off despite challenging circumstances.

Lila, that is a very long time to have company. I would struggle!

I wonder if you can work on some of the downstairs boxes and totes while the company is gone, and then just do the hauling out while they are there and pretend you are clearing out some of x's stuff?

Bean had another present (ear protectors for the tractor) which he loved, and we made play do. Dd2 flew in and we all had a nice visit. Then dd2 took my car and went off to her bff's house to spend the night (it's bff's birthday) and Bean's family headed out to visit friends and then spend the night at home before seeing his other grandmother tomorrow. (The other visit was dsil's dad's family) everyone - including ds, ddil, and the dogs - will be back tomorrow evening. My teacher present basket has been somewhat reduced.

I think Dh and I are mostly going relax this evening.

post 2 for accountability.

My company went out for the morning so I can laze about without feeling guilty. However I also have the change to purge a bit and I do need to get some cleaning done.

Today I will wash my sheets and some laundry, clan up a bit, cook, and run to the store. I hope I have the energy to get things done.

Oh friends, so much sickness going around here. I hope you all are getting better, healing up from things, getting through the medical issues (Road it sounds miserable, I am sorry.) SubC, I am so sorry for your loss. It is awful to lose a baby and I pray for your daughter and family.

I am doing pretty okay. It was a whirlwind week with cooking, working (I had to work over hours because I was so behind from being sick), still have company for another month probably. All my hoard upstairs is shoved into my bedroom which resembled a storage unit now. The house is not great upstairs but tolerable. The downstairs is a wreck and I blame it on the ex (who still has stuff here but really a lot of the boxes and totes downstairs are mine and need to be dealt with, but not in front of company).

There is the trouble. I don't want to sort and purge with comapny here. It would be horrifying for me to be seen taking bags of trash and boxes of junk, bag after bag, box after box, out of my bedroom. Ugh.

Back in a bit.

Hi again, sounds like our group here was passing Covid around virtually. We had it here too. Me and my son had it and somehow the H never tested positive. I had half a day where I was face down in bed, another day that was moderately bad, and the rest was not a big deal. And we never got our 4th or 5th booster things so I was kind of worried. We took some partial doses of paxlovid so maybe that helped but mostly I felt like they made me feel worse - and the effect on your taste smell was no fun. My sister unfortunately has that everything smells like garbage phenomenon. Except it's not garbage exactly but just super intensely bad. My taste was gone for a day and then seemed overly strong... now it's normalish.

I am having more problems with the hiatal hernia thing or whatever. Omg. I think the Covid hacking really caused that to flare up because I have had attacks almost every day since I got sick and find I have to take a lot of drugs to calm them down which are not great for my liver/kidneys. On top of all tHat I had a uti and a sinus inf. And am just freakin worn out. Luckily my boy is doing ok... I tried to make an appt with the doc for tomorrow but nothing avail til Jan 10th so I guess the whole practice shut down until then? Kind of ridiculous. So that means I will have to go to urgent care for the UTI and wait awhile to get some forward momentum on diagnostics for this friggin hernia. I am trying to eat half a cup of food at a time to not anger the beast,,, worn out. Truly.

Sons fave Christmas present was T birds jacket costume from grease. He danced all night. SO cute. I did better this year with sending gifts to my nieces and nephews kids. Usually I buy stuff and it never gets sent or I don't even do that. As they are the closest thing we will have to grandkids I need to do a better job. I always hold back a bit because I don't want to invade my sisters space but her dysfunction continues so they don't have her or us and there are no other parents on the scene for most of them. Well anyway, I sent gifts via amazon to the Washington staters and still need to mail a box to the lake superiors.

Didn't see my bro or ps due to our lingering Covid stuff but we will see them in a day or two. Weird year. We saw the Hs side tonight unexpectedly - gifts weren't all there cause original plan was to see them in January. I felt absolutely horrible this afternoon but forced myself to go. Had to kind of stretch out on their chaise I felt so bad for the first couple hours. But suddenly everything calmed down and it was like the symptoms just dissipated. I still didn't try to eat or drink anything but I was able to move around and chat more. Such a weird thing. Had a very nice time and we came home. After clearing so much out of my room a few weeks ago I am a little dismayed it all still looks so messy. I did ask the H to take the arm chair back down, need to find a replacement but something with a much smaller profile/footprint. The other thing that's still totally dysfunctional is the bed. I am having a terrible time getting in and out of the mattress just in the floor so I need to decide if I will return it for a twin or go ahead and get a frame for the queen. Decisions...

Had some very bad days at the beginning of Covid when the H was changing or off his meds and the dr. Jekyl was out in full force... he is absolutely horrible when I am sick which makes me not want him as a partner for middle to old age when you know it's not as if I will have fewer and fewer health problems. He ridiculously emptied out most of the cabinets in the kitchen and put most of the stuff in bins on the porch for some reason. I just had to kind of let it go because I was so sick. And kind of helpless. In fact I had to reach out to his brother one day to try to intervene it was so bad. He later admitted he was having issues with the medication not working. Never any apology which I am definitely due. But at least he acknowledged something. He is acting more normally now but that was unbelieveably stressful for a few days.

Ok well enough of my complaining. Will try to shine up my perspective/commentary for tomorrow.

Merry Christmas everyone! Will try to catch up and post tomorrow. Just wanted to say hi!

Good evening.

CM, I'm glad your roommate took you to church. I know that's important to you.

Bean was very happy to see the train under the tree. He was also happy to see his play kitchen and front end loader that he hadn't seen in weeks, and mr. Kitty.

We fed him lots of cookies and raisin bread, and he opened one present from Dh parents (duplos) which was plenty for him. He will be opening presents all week.

I wrapped all the presents and recycled a few old cards.

Dd1 looks good

I know what you mean, SubC, about it feeling like the pause button was pushed.

We were out of our quarantines enough to attend Christmas Eve Mass, with masks as an added precaution. Roommate is Baptist but she enjoys coming with me now and then. And because I am not sure of myself driving during the holidays when there's more traffic and fewer places open once they start closing early - I get spooked, feel too alone and vulnerable, it's a weird agoraphobia thing.

So, church... it was lovely. Except for the incense. I thought I'd found us a more out of the way spot to sit, but in a round church there's no real way to escape it. And Father has been using a particularly potent blend lately. So she got a coughing fit and had to go out, though she returned. And I couldn't smell it at all, mostly. After awhile caught a faint whiff.

Today I think I'm regaining my ability to smell, just slightly. It's been a weird Christmas although nice too in some ways. Really feeling like the surreal year is winding down. Praying 2023 will be a happier change of pace.

Good morning!

Merry Christmas!

I set up the train last night. Dh got up early and made coffee and built up the fire.

My parents' neighbors make a lovely apple filled coffee cake that they give as gifts each year, and knowing how much I have always liked it they sent an extra one over for me this year. I am enjoying it for breakfast.

I hope you are all cozy and happy.

Good evening!

A happy Christmas Eve to all!

The dining porch is cleaned and decorated, and the new puzzle (my mom gets us a "new" used puzzle every year) awaits my ddil so we can start it.

Ds and ddil have arrived safely at her mother's house.

Dd2 was last heard contemplating joining some friends at a cabin (ironically it's 45 degrees in Denver!)

And dd1's family is celebrating with dsil's clan tonight.

I set up the crèche with the little cow-sheep.

Chores are done (a challenge in this cold and snow) and I am thinking about setting up the train before I go to bed. I'll wrap gifts in the morning. We won't open until Wednesday - except Bean - who has gifts from Dh parents for tomorrow if he arrives.

Ok, serial posting.

Rug is in dryer.

Both tables are cleared off, but I cheated. I set up a folding table in the basement over a bunch of stuff that is on the floor and I carried all the piles of papers down to that.

I started decorating.

Dh helped me finish cleaning out the fridge. We got rid of seven expired jars with just a bit of whatever left in them.

He also helped me put six baskets of laundry away. Number seven is towels and cleaning cloths.

I haven't wrapped presents yet.

I feel strange - like someone has pushed "pause" on the rest of the world because all our plans are postponed and we are going nowhere. I want to make better use of this extra time, but I feel slow and tired.

Dh went out to run some errands.

He called dd2 and told her not to come out here - roads.

So maybe we will see her tomorrow!

I have finished the dining porch floor (not counting the filthy door rug that is in the washing machine)

Good morning.

It's up to 2 degrees!

Tatoulia, your Christmas plans sound lovely.

We are still feeling fine. Dd1 plans to come by today on her way to her in-laws. Her whole family had Covid in the summer and has been vaccinated and double boosted, and she is not concerned about waiting for the second test. They will be back late tonight to have Christmas morning with us.

I am still working on cleaning and decorating.

Checking in! We had today offf, which was good. Rainy and windy so I didn't leave the house. Cleaners came and I finished wrapping gifts. I baked cookies tonight and have showered. Going to go grab my laundry and call it a night

SubC and Cm I am so sorry about your respective covid situations!

Good work at mom's, SubC. Four bags out is four bags out!

We go to our friends' house tmr then church. They invited us on Wednesday and we are pretty excited. So we will have Lebanese food here on Christmas instead of Christmas Eve. And we will go to church with them. Their kids are pretty excited. The boy (11yo) wants us to sleep over.

Love you all thank you for being here for me, year after year.

Dd2's flight was canceled she is now coming on Boxing Day.

I hope the aroma therapy works well and quickly!

I still feel fine. I have spent most of the day struggling with the dining porch. I have about 11 trips to make from there to the studio barn, but since positive temperatures have been pushed to 8:00, I will wait and do that tomorrow.

I have broken the dining porch down into 5 tasks:
Clean off and sweep floor (about half done)
Clean off and extend big table (about half done)
Trips to studio barn
Clean off little table
Put up decorations

Dd2's plane is delayed.

I am nearly done washing and drying laundry, but not putting away.

I threw a few small items into the trash can today and gave my chickens a dish of fridge discards. I still have one shelf and the door to clean out of the fridge. Thinking of Road..

My at home Covid test was negative. I should test again on Sunday, but was not contagious when at my parents' house. That is a relief. (I feel fine.)

Yes, SubC, poco a poco is the best way I've found in recent times.

Just discovered that I have pretty obvious Covid olfactory loss. It came on over the last 3-4 days, as I was feeling better! My nose is reasonably clear, I can breathe, but each day less ability to smell. I pray it returns quickly, and doesn't turn into that "everything smells like garbage" phenomenon or anything.

It's weird because my roommate with her allergies usually can't smell much, and I with my neuroatypical sensory sensitivity can smell things way too well - but we are now reversed! I went to wipe off something with a lemon Lysol wipe and she smelled it strongly and I had to get right up to the container to get even a faint whiff. I went and lit a match, then blew it out, could barely detect the smoke, whilst she could smell it clearly from another room. I got my vanilla and almond extract bottles and not much there either.

They say you can do physical therapy to retrain your nose using extracts so I believe I will start doing that ASAP.

Good morning.

I still feel fine.

It is -8 here and snowing sideways, but since you are reading this, we obviously still have power. Mr. Kitty is very glad that we came home and he is not sheltering in the barn with the other critters.

I got on the scale this morning and my weight has topped out again.

I feel like my year is getting off to a very hard start, but really, it is just a lot of friction. I will go as CM says "poco a poco"

So sorry, SubC, you didn't need that on top of everything else. 😢

When my roommate's test came up positive, I felt shock and intense dismay and panic too... it did ease up by the next day somewhat. You've had a lot on your plate.

Hello all,

We are home.

Lila, I hope things are going well with your company. I also think you are doing well.

Tatoulia, did you get your laundry done? I am working on the post vacation laundry.

CM, I hope you are feeling better and stay warm and safe and your power stays on!

Dh brother in law tested positive for Covid today after developing symptoms on Tuesday.

So we are exposed, and even worse, we have possibly exposed my parents. So far everyone feels fine, but I am feeling grumpy and angry without a clear target. I don't know how this will effect our plans with the kids, and I worry about my dad. Mostly I am angry that something bad could happen because I did a thing I never wanted to do in the first place (visit the in-laws)

On the positive side, I was able to help my mom let go of about four grocery bags of stuff from the house - not really a drop in that particular bucket, but we emptied a drawer.

I brought home some fabric, a cross stitch to frame and keep that my mom made, a stack of books (7 I think) to read with Bean, a bunch of thank you cards from mom's desk (that I will use up but she decided she won't) the furniture that goes with the little people dollhouse (already had the dollhouse) the little people bus, the little people school, a cooking pot with a lid, stickers for Bean from mil, a new Christmas ornament, a pair of earrings, hand lotion, lip balm, a book and a new bathrobe (replaces the one that tore down the back). I also have a new tote bag from my mom which I like, but I left the less nice library tote bag behind (we filled it with items for goodwill)

We are battening down the hatches to prepare for the winter storm. Everybody stay safe!

Happy new year - about 5 hours ago.

We are trying to beat winter home and have just stopped at a hotel.

Dd had a dr. Apt today and sounds like she is doing ok.

Sorry I'm too tired to really engage. Hugs!

Just holding everyone in my heart.

This is just a little update for the record.

It doesn't feel like a solstice. My roommate and I have been dealing with Covid. Mine is fairly light, and even hers is gradually improving but with her respiratory vulnerability she must be careful.

In the confusion I forgot that Monday was a year since my dear friend passed. But I remembered today.

Then there's this "bomb cyclone" winter storm which you are no doubt aware of too. Pretty nasty stuff. Hope everyone can ride it out okay. Hope the power stays on.

Don't know how it will go for Christmas yet. If I can't go to church I will watch the Pope from St. Peter's on TV. For now, playing it by ear on plans. Uncertainty is never my thing, but here we are.

I was reading back through more of your posts and also caught a few of my own. I had promised an update on the unresolved thing. So.

The unresolved thing a) is still unresolved as I'd hoped, b) may have escalated or been lost in the shuffle, and c) if b, the escalation would probably be more of a nerve wracking gambit and huge stress therefore I would just be inclined to cut my losses. Not only these things, but d) I don't know where I stand with the person who had offered to help but has too much drama in their own life to be able to do much.

I probably won't refer to this matter further unless there is unexpected good news. Otherwise, poco a poco and trust in the Lord. I can't do a thing to affect the outcome. Just have to grieve and move forward. I sure hope 2023 is an improvement over this year.

So. Christmas music and movies, lights, Advent candles, chicken soup, fuzzy robe, bunnies, cats, distractions, sleep but not too much, prayers - these are survival.

I'm so sorry for this painful news, SubC. Thinking of you b

SubC, my condolences 😥💗

I am at my parents house.

I survived the in-laws. I slept a lot.

Dd1 called. She says she is ok, but she lost the baby. We are sad.

Good morning, everyone! I am fighting the fatigue here. Not easy.

I have made a list for today and I hope I get through it. Busy time of year. I did two loads of laundry last night. I have more to do, esp cat blankets. I hope I do something today. I'd also like to mail some Christmas cards. Time to be productive. It won't change my fatigue so I should just do it.

What are you doing today?

Hey Lila! Glad you checked in! You must be doing a good job of decluttering if you can have house guests! Well done!

I continue to battle fatigue. I will get there. Saw a friend today and we had a terrific time. BF came downtown tonight and we visited mom. Now I'm doing my first load of laundry all weekend, if you can believe it.

I still have to write my Christmas cards and get them out. Always something.

I'll write more later! Can definitely use everyone's help in keeping things moving.

Hello!

I have not read anything yet, because I have company and don't want anyone catching me on a hoarders site (my hoard is pretty much hidden in closed rooms at this point, aside from the one on my bar counter. I have two people here for another couple weeks. You can imagine the hiding that has to go on. I flit in and out of my bedroom, which is utterly hoarded up, quickly and in the dark so no one catches an accidental glimpse of what's inside.

How are you all? I will try and come back to read later today, when they are away. I just wanted to update, I miss you guys. It has been chaos, trying to finish my separation, having people here due to a crisis in their life, having anxiety provoking things at work, and I was sick twice since I was last here. But I am okay, still have not had my imaging for cancer but will after the holidays.

I stayed home today with a huge conflict in my brain. I want to rest and do nothing. I need to clean and organize. I also need to go shopping for Christmas and go let my son fix my car. This has always been a good spot to make a commitment and clear my head, so I will try that.

What I plan to do today:
1) finish my coffee, feed the dogs and then get started on home tasks:
- dishes/dishwasher
- clean up tree needles/vacuum
- find Christmas lights and decor
- chop and freeze produce from the fridge
- cook something
- give away some produce online
- dust, clean, wipe things down a bit

2) go to my son's to fix my car and see grands

3) make a Christmas shopping list, and then go shop tomorrow and Monday

4) finish legal paperwork, bills, other paper tasks

Wish me luck, I probably would just sit here and do nothing instead if I did not have guests watching me. So embarrassing.

Hello everyone!

About to jump on the shower and run errands with the BF. I slept pretty well last night. I'm still tired. I'm keeping track of my protein.
I'm out of tea yet scrounged up one bag with caffeine. I have plenty of decaf and herbal.

Thank you, CM! Just what I needed!

I hope your headache quiets, SubC. Safe travels. I hope the weather isn't too bad when you are traveling. Oh, and I'm excited that your daughter got a job! I remember what a blow it was to her to lose her job after she moved. And how her relationship with your husband meant that he knew the right stuff to say.

Keep us posted when you can! The bring a pot in a paper bag is such a great idea for a gift exchange!

Good morning!

Tatoulia, I'm glad your mom enjoyed the party.

I had a very good time at mine last night. There was a pit firing and I fired and brought home seven more pots. We also had a gift exchange of "bring a piece of pottery in a brown paper bag, take home a different bag." The pot I picked is perfectly nice, but nothing special, I am going to pass it on to the flower class. I lost track of my running total. (Also, the flower class gave me a poinsettia in a pot someone else donated.)

I only added one teacher gift yesterday - candy. I'll put it out when the kids come.

Tired and my head aches this morning. Starting our trip this evening. Looking forward to Monday when the hard part is mostly over (except the long drive home) and I get to see my parents.

Tatoulia, perhaps this will help:

🎄 🎅 ❄ ☃️ 😇 🎁 🎀 🥁 🕯 🌟

Cm thank you for the good advice. Keep up with the tiny slips of paper! Progress is progress!

SubC good for you to take care of one gift before bringing it home! A lot of my hoarding issues were wrapped up in proving that I am loved. Deciding that I am, I have found it easier to let go.

Mom enjoyed wearing her dress at the Christmas party today. I tried to liven up the party but it wasn't possible. She enjoyed the food and the company. We were at a pretty good table.

I fell asleep once I got home. Now I'm running the dishwasher and catching up with you all.

We will have big rain here tmr.

I need to lean into Christmas, CM.

Hi guys!

CM, I'm glad you have things that center and soothe you. I'm excited by the idea of the little slips of paper going!

Tatoulia, I'm sorry you aren't feeling motivated. The store gifts will be easy - I keep a few (there's a cute little pocket notebook I will use up by spring - it's just right for the daily "to do" list I keep on my school desk - usually I use my post-it pad) others will be put out on a table for my family to help themselves and then donated. Food generally gets eaten.

The handmade gifts I usually keep until I forget who made them, unless I just love them for their own sake - or if the kid's name is on them, I might keep them longer. I confess that I put one straight in the trash today (after all the kids were out of the building and before the janitors emptied the cans) because it was shedding glitter like crazy.

I'm taking a quick break between tasks - I'm actually at the pottery studio where the party is tonight because I needed to get to the shop before 5, but I've been taking care of some communication I needed to do for school in the studio lounge.

My lesson plans are actually set out on my desk, and the materials for tomorrow are as ready as I can get them before school opens tomorrow! It turns out I can do this if I am motivated enough! (I was terrified I would run short on time and forget something)

I have no more laundry to do, and very little barn/animal prep, but I haven't really started thinking about packing yet, my house is a mess, and I won't be able to put up all the decorations I wanted to have up before dd2 comes home the 23rd.

We do the best we can.

I ghosted again 👻 because I had more weird confusing stuff happening. It's not resolved yet, either - well, at least I don't know if it is. Hence the adjectives weird and confusing. The only thing I can do is try to get in whatever reasonable mental and spiritual philosophical mode I can.

When I do my daily prayers, my Rosary and Divine Mercy Chaplet which is similar to a Rosary, I use videos to follow along with. One of the prayer videos is part of a series by Franciscan Friars and so I watched a short talk that has helped - it's called "Poco a Poco" and it is just about taking life little by little which is what poco a poco means in Spanish. The Spanish phrases end with "vamos a llegar" which means, colloquially translated, "we're gonna make it." It's just a quiet simplification of life's complication - I'm sure many religions and wise philosophies have something similar.

And that's as deep as I'm going to get right now.

Today I'm doing a backload of laundry. I have been working on my computer and getting a few things done. Being knocked back by the weird development made me drift for awhile. But I need to re-engage with what I can. The computer will soon be ready to receive input from myriad scattered notes on bits of paper so that the bits can be tossed.

I had to look back, because sometimes when I'm ghosting I still check on you all - and wanted to say I was really glad to hear Lila had a good health report and I pray it will continue to be good.

Glad the solstice is < 1 week away. Just the idea of days growing longer helps. Leaning into Christmas a lot these days too. Some years I can be bah humbug but not this one. It's roommate's first Christmas in retirement, and she's had her own struggles so she really needs some cheer as well. I think it's helping us to watch the shows, listen to the music, put up decorations and lights, go driving to look at lights, and for me my Advent candles are wonderful.

Poco a poco
Vamos a llegar

Take care

SubC, I am sorry you are in a time crunch right now. I seem to have enough time but not enough motivation. I'm doing precious little these days.

I'm getting my h air cut at 1 PM then mom's Christmas party at 4:30. I will have to eat before leaving since I will not eat there and plus I have a lot of stomach issues to sort through. So I'll use the stomach issues as my reason for not eating. I bough mom a new dress for the party and I'll wear a sparkly dress.

I have no motivation and only fatigue. Of course if any of you invited me to your house, I'd be all over sorting the teacher gifts and getting them to goodwill. When I used to receive office gifts I wouldn't let them in the house. I once abandoned ship in my way home and put in a garbage can. I cannot take the gifts into my home. Now, there are no such gifts coming my way. Most of the business partner gifts go to the office which I put out to be shared. One place refuses to take me off their list and I have to take it to goodwill. It is so much work and so much waste. At least the food gifts are eaten. Not by me right now, but eaten by others.

I am sure that for you, SubC, a lot of these gifts hold meaning and emotion for you. A gift from a student is much different than from a colleague or business partner. I would struggle.

My house is nice and clean. I have laundry to do, especially if I'm going to find something to wear to work tmr.

Good morning.

Yesterday I brought home 7 new pieces of pottery from class.

And some teacher presents. Plants, pens and notepads, lotion, a mug, things I can eat, a candle. I'll sort them out later.

I need to leave for school in less than three hours. I need to be ready for today, tomorrow, and ourctrip.

I cannot see this happening.

I have a party tonight that I refuse to give up.

I am trying very hard to move and to focus.

Hello SubC! I almost fell asleep in my office last night, took a cab home, slept til this AM. I am now supe4 late for work and need to dry my hair and get dressed.

I'm exhausted. Sending you strength! Keep getting rid of thos3 books!